Who eats toast

baseball-related topics for speculative celebrity fiction:
Adrian C. “Cap” Anson
Dock Ellis
Charlie Sheen
the guy who plays Donovan in major league meeting the guy who plays Donovan in indiana jones and the last crusade, which was on TV at the same time as an indians game last night

the civil war bum who is outside this internet cafe right now

so i was walking back from the hardware store and there was this guy,
who sort of looked like me and had the same male-pattern-baldness and
general build and was wearing camoflauge shorts, which i took as an
analog to my paramedic shirt, which i was wearing, and was doing the
same thing i was doing, which was namely not being at work despite it
being 10 am on a tuesday and being in his mid-20s and being on the
1400 block of w.winona, and then like his neighbor came outside and
said hi and his name was peter. i’m being erased, is the upshot, i think.

absurd rich-person food item teaser:
something called Heritage Flakes, which is a cereal and is not some kind of bath product that keeps you extra-caucasian.

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