“along with her natural female infallibility for the spontaneous comprehension of evil.”

I stole a vegetable cream cheese from Au Bon Pain downstairs. Fuck you for judging me and fuck them for asking for $1.07 (more than the bagel itself) for like not even enough cream cheese with which one might enjoy the bagel itself. So it’s OK, Biblically speaking, to swipe bread to feed a starving family. Is it OK then to promote cream cheese so as to better enjoy your stolen bread. And I paid for the bread anyway, which sort of renders the whole enterprise in a foggy gray area. Or just a gray area in which I should stop appropriating cream cheese under the banner of class warfare. Because I was definitely muttering shit while I took it. I was going to pay for it, I swear. Isn’t cream cheese, in a legal sense, like a condiment? Like in with ketchup and mustard and butter as a thing you Should Not Pay For (unless we’re talking about gourmet mustard). I have to get back to what I was doing, so thank you. I blame Cingular Wireless and the federal gov’t for all of this. Also, the Internet is not good.

Also, somebody bring me a copy of the Red Streak, please. I don’t want to work anymore.

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