Mr.One in Five Germans Wants the Berlin Wall Back

I just remembered that the Cleveland WNBA franchise folded. I don’t understand how I could have forgotten that for so long. I don’t mean that as a slight against women’s sports. I mean it as a slight to women’s basketball. I must have something better to talk about than my anger at the WNBA.

Well, this might not be better, in an evaluative sense, but it is different. I moved into an apartment in NY. I have been enjoying having a set of keys to a place that has some percentage of my shit in it. THe other day my telephone was ringing when i woke up and i tried to sit straight up to go get it and i hit my head on the ceiling really hard. also i have a cold. i can promise another chapter in the long and variegated histories of wiry cat for those who have a stake in the future of the small angry cat who touched so many in recent years in the chicago region. also, among the non-bodega businesses immediately around my apt, there is a starbucks, rodney dangerfield’s club, the queensboro bridge (there is a toll, so it’s sort of a business), scores (this is a strip club, i am told), a bed bath and beyond, and then a fucking horrible pizzeria. i might be jumping to conclusions but if my life is a succession of chess games against municipalities i have played new york to a draw, based on these businesses. does that even make sense?. i have a job interview at an appliance store tomorrow morning. i have to go and get back on the F train now. not that this matters. i’ve been eating a lot of peanut butter and i think i have the croup. yet i don’t even know what the croup is.

i keep promising that there’s more coming. that’s probably not going to happen until i get extended access to do dumb shit on the internet. bronson arroyo looks like sean paul now. that’s weird. in some way, i feel like they should trade names. i saw alien vs. predator (i snuck in after collateral) and here’s what the people behind alien vs. predator want you to know:

1. the predator(s) founded human culture, at least aztez, cambodian and egyptian culture. if not culture entirely, then architecture. this is why these three cultures have long held an affinity for dreadlocks that are secretly air tubes and having three mouths at once.

2. antarctica used to be nice. also, every 100 years, on the 04s, the predators come to hunt something. it’s not clear if it’s the alien or the predator. also, there is a giant lady alien in the basement of the giant pyramid hidden 2000 feet under antarctica that can make baby aliens when necessary. she’s tied up though, so nothing bad could happen. Q: what does the lady alien eat? who feeds her? ben points out that she was frozen. abe had pointed out earlier that alien cryogenics aren’t what they used to be. also, the sexual tension between the black mountain climber lady and the main predator was some dumb shit.

3. worth seeing if only for this exchange (that’s a lie, incidentally. it’s not worth seeing)
LADY: My dad broke his leg 200 feet from the summit of mount rainier. (paraphrase) but he perservered and we had champagne at the peak. then he got a blood clot in his lungs and died on the mountain.
BILLIONAIRE ADVENTURER: but what do you think he remembered more, the pain, or drinking champagne with you?

I would venture to say he remembered the pain more, because he was dying and cold.

also, on a non-alien vs predator note, collateral could have been a lot better, just by trimming 25 minutes and taking out some of the shitty mass-appeal fight choreography. and they turned mark ruffalo into benjamin bratt. maybe he can turn into jerry orbach. i’d pay $10.25 for five minutes of that.

One thought on “Mr.One in Five Germans Wants the Berlin Wall Back”

  1. The Queensboro Bridge does NOT have a toll. And on this side, it’s called the “59th Street” Bridge, because nobody knows where Queens is. Eugene Wilson?

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